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Finally
A Short Fiction
By
David A. Archer
02/15/1968
09/12/2006
Average,
everyday evening after no less than another 12 hour workday.
I had a beer and some
wine, then as normal, called a cab.
I didn’t work for
tips. I worked the average hourly pay
scale in a kitchen, which as many know isn’t that
much. I still managed to work a cab ride
into my budget on evenings of especially long hours.
I felt that I deserved
it to some degree.
My work life then, isn’t
the story. The story here is based
around the ever elusive fact that any cab driver, no matter how many times they
have taken you to the same address will do what they can to lengthen the ride
just a little.
I’ve been in cities,
arriving from the airport where it is just truly outrageous. So much so that it becomes a form of
entertainment in many respects.
Especially when it is that a person is familiar with the surroundings
and where it is that they are destined after the flight.
Somehow there is this
over laying attitude among cab drivers, that everyone else on the planet is
some form of walking dead. Without even the common sense of the ass behind the wheel most
times. This of course is a major
part of the entertainment value in listening to them precariously attempt to
balance a thin conversation with pressed tones connoting some form of
integrity, while you watch them knowingly take the “scenic route.”
I had gotten off of work
that evening… and as I stated, I had a few drinks and was more than ready for
my lounge chair at home. I knew that
odds were, the ride would take me between the standard
15 minutes, and nearly a half hour depending upon who got the call.
I hung my head slightly
when the car pulled up after seeing which “straw” I had drawn as per paid
drivers.
I knew it was going to
be close to another 20-25 minutes before I even got to the curb in front of my
residence. I simply accepted it even
though I wasn’t in the mood to watch or listen to the drama I’ve described in
regard to posturing and covering for the added mileage and drive time.
It was just over the
hill for crying out loud. I had walked
it many times.
I got into the cab and
being near winter it was already becoming dark, but I still managed to notice
something I will never forget as a solid reminder.
It is a reminder that
regardless of how in syncopation cab drivers think they are, anywhere around
the world I suppose, they will at every chance do anything to increase their
income.
This I now knew
definitely as I sat in the back seat and then noticed the severed head in the
floor board just next to me.
Not being one to be any
too surprised at anything I may encounter in a cab, I stated in an average tone; “Hey! You know you still got a severed head back
here.”
“Aw man” he replied, “I
was hoping you wouldn’t notice… I wanted to wait until after my shift to do all
of the paper work and reports on it. I
can’t stand anything cutting into my day like that. Ass holes had no right to begin with… trying
to drag me into their mess.”
Of course I was still
none too surprised to get a drawn out introduction to the severed head being in
the floor board, then further and just as predictably being seen as
problematic to his day.
I
decided to bite seeing as we were still sitting in the same place and the meter
was already running. It was going to be no less than 25 minutes.
"So.. do tell" I said, "I'd
like to hear about it on the way" I stressed.
"It's
no big deal really" he stated, again in a rather predictable nonchalance
doing everything he could to down play a severed head accompanying a paid fare.
"These two guys got in… and I normally just mind my business, you
know…. But they were drunk or something and started in on each other… then
before you knew it, one guy cut the other guys head off…but I managed to recoup
the cab fare when I dumped the body in the street…I just haven't got around to
kicking the head out, yet. Idn't that a bitch?" He then
asked, still further in the direction of non involvement somehow.
"Yep"
I said as I could begin to smell the death rising from the head rolling here
and there with the turns and sway of the car, "that would really suck to
be dragged into something like that. You probably made the right choice
in just not getting involved…and it's a good thing you
got your cab fare, too."
"No
joke… man, those guys were going at it and I thought for sure I would have to
make up for it later somehow… you know" he paused, get an extra fare or
something just before my shift ended."
"You
don't think you'll have to explain at the garage?' I asked him.
"No...
I'll just stop and spray it out at the car wash on the way back. The guy
after me doesn't even have a green card yet, so he won't say anything… if he
happens to notice anything different….. besides, he
said he used to drive in some mid east city… so he probably wouldn't be too
upset anyway."
I then began to think about how cab drivers seemed
to stay at lights a little longer, and drive just a bit slower when they knew
you worked at a nice restaurant. It obviously didn't even occur to the
guy that I made an hourly wage and didn't even get tipped out. His
presumption was probably that I was rolling in dough, so to speak… just because
of the reputation of the place.
The idea of "artisan" never seems to occur
to those type of people…those bent on making a quick
buck any way they can. I can’t recall
ever having much more than monthly rent and some beer money. All while working at one of the most
recognized restaurant establishments in the city. It was even ranked somewhere in the country
as per industry regulations.
I’m sure that is where they got the idea that
somehow I was rolling in cash.
I found out sometime later that the fact of my
employment actually led to further research about my personal “file,” which
then led them on a goose chase based on some relations formerly of the
entertainment industry.
I am sure they just couldn’t wait to figure a way
into my pocket book.
As I looked again toward the rolling severed head,
and put the continuing cackle from the front seat at the back of my mind, I
then found myself actually wondering why it is that everyone in the
I know that sounds a bit callous, but considering
the experience I feel I was justified with the line of thought… especially
further when finding out about the extra “research” as per my person.
“This guy has a head rolling around in his vehicle”
I thought to myself, “a vehicle that is used to procure an income from other
people riding in it… presumably safely and with some level of efficiency.”
I gazed out the window at the changing street light, just counting the seconds to myself for some reason I
still can’t put a finger on. I knew,
even with the change in direction indicators already having occurred, that the
car would still sit there for at least another few seconds.
“What kind of creatures were humans becoming?” I
continued to think to myself. “This guy
has a license to chauffer people for paid exchange, and has a head rolling
around in his car which, as per his own disposition counts as less of a
priority than does his fare. It might as
well not even be there as far as he cares and I am sure that in a courtroom a
person would never be able to have him recall it… or our conversation for that
matter.”
I then found myself wondering if maybe he had
pre-arranged calls for get-a-ways from heists and the like?
It truly wouldn’t surprise me in the least…
…As long as they didn’t mind a severed head rolling
around with them, in the back seat….
…And of course, as long as the money was right.
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